TESTICLES

You should be whacking off in April. For most of you, you probably won’t need any more information about why. You’ll just be glad for the excuse. But there’s a pretty good reason… having a wank can save your life, if you do it the right way.

It sounds like something from a horror story. A man innocently falls asleep, only to wake in the morning and find he is missing two very important things. Unfortunately this isn’t a joke, as one Russian TV presenter found on a night out. Feel free to keep them covered, boys.