The Struggle With Sex Addiction

Far too often people fob off the idea of a sex addiction. They think it is something that doesn’t exist. How can you be addicted to sex? They think that you can’t, that you simply have a very high sex drive and the desire to cheat.
Psychological consultation

It is so frustrating to read things like that, especially when you know better. Sex addiction is real. It isn’t a hoax made up to give people an excuse for lots of sex. Yet people still don’t understand what it is.

So, what does having a “sex addiction” mean? Is it common? How do you cope with it?

What is a sex addiction?

The problem with sex addiction is that the definitions of it vary greatly. For the relationship counselling service Relate, they describe it quite simply as any sexual activity that “feels out of control”.

However, that could also cover the urge to masturbate when you are home alone, even if you think you should be getting ready to go out.

Psych Central say that it is a “progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts”, which is a bit better explanation, but doesn’t really help us.

From what I’ve read, it seems to be when the urge to have sex or to experience sexual things (like masturbation, porn, chat lines, etc) becoming overwhelming and you struggle to cope with them as part of your everyday life. They take over and it can be challenging to deal with.

Confessions of a sex addict

On the Gold Coast Bulletin in Australia, one woman submitted her anonymous confession about her sex addiction. As you can imagine, it gained a lot of attention, not only because of the topic but because of the way she talks about it.

“I’d meet up with men just to have sex. They wouldn’t even have to take me to dinner first. You don’t want to get too full before a bedroom romp, after all.”

“It’s not so bad when you’re in a monogamous relationship because you always have someone to get your fix with. You don’t have to worry about catching anything because of your addiction.”

She goes on to say that things “got a little messy when at one stage I was seeing three men by the same name, in the same week.”

Hard hitting stuff

It is truly hard hitting stuff, but it also raises some points that people don’t think about when discussing how much of a hoax sex addiction is.

Meeting up with people for sex, whether you know them or they are complete strangers, means you run the risk of catching someone. Condoms are important to your sexual health to stop this, but many suffering with a sex addiction skip it in their haste to get their fix.

The stress of trying to juggle multiple relationships can be difficult, and if you are in a relationship and are left feeling unsatisfied you could begin to cheat.

Sex addicts aren’t simply people who enjoy having lots of sex with loose morals – they are suffering because of their desires.
Couple looking to each other during therapy session while therapist watches

Celebrity cases

Lately many different celebrities have come out about their sexual addictions.

For years, Michael Douglas was said to have a sex addiction but denied it for many years. It wasn’t until his biography in 2012 when he said that, actually, he had suffered with it.

Both David Duchovny and Tiger Woods have checked in to clinics for sex addiction treatment, with the latter doing so at the breakdown of his marriage. Russell Brand also admitted in his memoir that he had to go for treatment of his “carnal overindulgence” and heroin addiction.

It doesn’t just affect men. The anonymous woman above is proof of that, but the controversial 2007 TV show called “Am I A Sex Addict?” not only showed us people coming to terms with this, but it also had the host Ulrika Jonsson questioning herself and just what being a sex addict meant.

How do you feel about the topic of sex addiction? Do you believe it is a hoax or are you like me in thinking the struggle is very real? Go to the Escort Norway forum and see what others are saying there, or check out the comments below and add your own.

Lara Mills
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Lara Mills

Lara Mills is a writer who has four years of sex industry expertise behind her. Since she entered the adult industry, she has worked on the Escort Advertising forums, before moving into her current role three years ago.

Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.

In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
Lara Mills
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