Sex Toy Theft Man Calls Himself a Crazy Name!

An Illinois man who stole a Vibrator from an Orland Park sex shop had a rather interesting reaction when the police turned up. When asked his name, he said it was ‘Obama is a criminal’.

Man looks shocked at laptop

Christopher Hucko, 44 obviously is much more fond of sex toys than he is the current President, after it emerged he signed his new name on his Miranda Rights consent form.

He was arrested last month after an employee at the Orland’s Park store saw him walking around the shop with the vibrator stuffed down his pants.

By the time the officer got there, he was leaving the store with a big bulge in his trousers (Don’t worry, I have that problem too)

Cherry Tattoo

When questioned by an officer, he allegedly said “that he had a tattoo of a cherry on his penis and asked me if I wanted to see it,” according to the police report.

After a search, the officer found the $48 “G-Spot Delight Vibrator” stuck down his pants. There are no words yet as to whether they found a cherry tattoo on his dick.

Hucko stated that he had no idea how the vibrator got there, although it did emerge that police also found marijuana and a pot pipe on his person. I’m going to guess that the two things are probably linked somewhere down the line.

After arriving at the cell, it seems he stripped naked and started making derogatory comments about Obama, and then proceeded to sign his rights form with his new name.

Well, he has now been charged with retail theft, cannabis possession and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Well, they do say drugs don’t do you any favours. I can only imagine what is behaviour will be like when he finally reaches court!

Martin Ward
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Martin Ward

Martin Ward is a well respected editor and writer with over five years experience in the adult industry. After stints in the Escort Advertising call centre and on the escort forum, he moved into the site editor position around three years ago.

Since then, he has specialised in articles on the battle for equal rights for sex workers, sexual health, as well as bringing the readers fun news from around the world. He also has a major interest in LGBT rights, and is an active campaigner in this field.

When he isn't fighting the good fight, he enjoys spending time with his girlfriend, and young daughter. He also enjoys reading and taking long walks.
Martin Ward
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One thought on “Sex Toy Theft Man Calls Himself a Crazy Name!”

  1. It is funny, because Obama get blame for everything. Maybe Obama put vibrator down his pants 😀

    I would like to see his cherry dick.

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