Is Porn Blurring The Line Between Fantasy and Reality?

Ladies and Gentlemen, we all know what porn is and the different types of erotica you get. You type in a subject on the search engine on a website and you would be would by the amount of videos enlisted in that tag.

Two women embrace
Two sexy young women

Fantasy and reality is definitely not the same

You even get subsections on different sex genres. For example, the BDSM genre can branch out to water sports, maledom, CBT and also wax play. You find them on a lot of specific porn networks that cater to those themes like ‘Kink’ and ’21 Sextury’, but people question themselves on whether you would find them happening in your bedroom.

You don’t find a group of people talking openly about hog-tying their girlfriends and making her wear nipple clamps while you deep throat her, or bringing up a conversation about their last bukkake session that occurred a couple of days ago. If a particular fetish floats your boat, then that’s fine! There’s no problem with it. But what if your partner isn’t into all that jazz?

There has always been a huge debate about the notion of porn giving people a twisted perception on how sex really works. Even though we now live in a liberal society compared to the 1960’s, you still find some people who are completely against porn, mainly for the reasons that it is degrading and unrealistic…well of course it’s unrealistic on some aspects! You’re not going to watch the latest Spiderman movie and expect to shoot spider web from your wrists, are you?

When you think about how the porn stars work on the set, especially the female cast, most of the time they would be faking an orgasm the moment the guy cums. Sometimes crew members have to find a substitute to a man exploding his load onto a sexy woman by squirting yoghurt on her, you’re not going to squirt yoghurt on your partner are you? Unless that is your thing…

There’s a psychological aspect embedded in all of us that makes us want to experience a higher level of a subject than the last one, therefore our expectations have increased along with accessibility to pornographic content.

For example, after seeing a picture of a nice pair of tits, we want to see a video clip of a pair of tits bouncing in front of the camera, and after that, we want to watch a video of something more extreme like a guy cumming on a pair of tits, and then it spirals on from there. From that one image you have seen on Google images, you gradually become immersed in the sex culture and formulated what theme gets you turned on. Do you know what happens next? When you get your first boyfriend or girlfriend, you would be asking him or her for naked pictures of themselves just like that first Google image you first saw.

This is one of the many examples that shows how some themes in porn have affected our bedroom antics. Anal sex wasn’t popular when it first popped up in adult video tapes in the 1960’s and 1970’s, but since many viewers starting to gain an interest in it, a lot of people wanted to try it out. However, you still have to ask the girl or guy if they’re OK with having anal, it would be rude and disrespectful to go straight through the back door without any mutual consent.

Then again, this relates to some aspects relating back to social science. I wrote a dissertation when I was back in university about how some deviant behaviours are gradually becoming acceptable in our youth and mainstream culture.

I was writing about the sequential mode within social science, when someone commits a deviant act and it’s seen acceptable amongst a group of people, everyone will start doing that act, and the theory can be proven in this case. A group of people who watch or read a certain pornographic content and doesn’t see it as a problem, later in the near future they will perform it.

Why some fantasies should stay as a fantasy

Don’t you believe me? Hmm…I will give you an example: ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’. You can’t deny how popular the books and the film has become since 2014. Everyone who has read and watched it knows about the all the erotic encounters between Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. Some women like it and like to actually perform the scenes that the author has written, yet to others, the sex can put them off.

I’ve chatted to some of my guy friends about this, and they’ve mentioned how some of the stuff in the story really doesn’t appeal to them. They said that it was because the protagonist disregards some of the rules in BDSM, and it can be quite dangerous when you go overboard with the dom/sub relationship. That is why a lot of people – like my friends – would only enjoy ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ as a fantasy.

Let’s talk about sex

Nonetheless, porn has open doors for many people who want to have an open sex life. They want to view what is trending and see if what gets their hormones raging; it’s has a bit of a trial and error concept to it. Along with other topics, porn can bring a whole community together with people who have a specific kink. One person may be able to find another person who is into the same fetish, and would like to give it a try in the bedroom.

However, the talk about sex and porn as a whole still hasn’t been discussed properly yet, even in the liberal society we live in today. If I were to ask a group of people what porn is, 8 or 9 times out of 10 people would say that it’s mainly a video or a picture with a hot naked guy or girl that gets its viewers horny. But no one would talk about how adult literature and audio-only media can be porn too. I’d probably get a group coming up to me arguing about ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ saying “Oh, but it’s an erotic literature.” Then I would ask “Does it get you off?”, “Well, yeah…”, “Then it’s porn.”

If society is more open about the topic of sex and express their own anecdotes, then people would be able to create a comparison between of that and porn. When guys and girls don’t speak to one another, discussing the things they like and the things they don’t like, then their sex life is going to end up in a mess.

That is why it is important to chat with your partner about what you would like to do, along with talking about what is acceptable between you two. The same logic applies to the escorting business, the punter can’t be afraid to tell the escort what performances they would like to do, as well as understanding which antics the escort doesn’t want to perform.

Zoe Jaspers
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Zoe Jaspers

Zoe Jaspers has worked in the adult industry for over a year, but she has already gained a fantastic reputation in the field. As a writer, she is passionate about bringing the reader some of the most interesting blog content around.

She is possibly most famous for her erotic stories, but is equally adept at giving top quality sex advice, all the time bringing in her 'personal experiences'.

When she isn't sharing her most intimate encounters, Zoe keeps herself active by watching videos on Youtube, and listening to music.
Zoe Jaspers
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