Are You Initiating Sex Enough?

We are all constantly complaining that we don’t have enough sex. Sometimes it is just that we don’t have the time, or that we are so exhausted after work that the idea of using the last of our energy for sex is too much. Initiating sex when you are tired feels like it won’t be as good.

A man and woman have fun initiating sex

When you have sex you want to really enjoy it. You don’t want to rush through for the sake of it. You want to take your time and leave your partner feeling amazing, so when we aren’t feeling 100%, initiating sex is something that we just don’t do.

However, recent studies have suggested that we might not be initiating sex enough. Is this true? Do we need to just bite the bullet and fuck, even when we aren’t feeling it? What can you do to initiate sex without feeling awkward each time? On the Escort Norway blog we give you some great tips on initiating sex.

When life gets in the way

Unfortunately it happens to everyone. Life has this way of getting between you and your sex life. It can really ruin things and leave you feeling pretty shit. Sex is a fantastic way to let off steam. When you are stressed, jumping into bed can help you work out that tension in a fun way, and it lets you get close to your partner.

However, sex requires a lot of energy if you want to do it, and your partner, right. If you go at it half-arsed, you’re going to have a bad time. No-one will be left satisfied, and that can lead to you being put off sex. Definitely not what you were hoping for!

Making time for sex, and then making sure we have enough energy to make it as great as can be, are two of the biggest obstacles that we face when it comes to enjoying sex. However, for a number of people there is something else to worry about, and that is initiating sex.

Initiating sex is a problem

Initiating sex has become a problem for so many of us, and the reason for that is because we don’t want to be rejected. It really is that simple.

A lot of people don’t want to ask their partner if they are up for sex in case they say no. They might say no for a number of reasons. They might be tired, not in the mood, or be feeling unwell, but we don’t know this. If you put the idea of sex out there and they then turn you down, it can leave you feeling pretty disappointed.

So, the fear of being rejected for sex makes us not so keen in initiating it. We start to panic that they don’t actually find us attractive, and so we will rarely initiate sex.

We want sex!

A recent study has suggested another reason why we might not initiate sex as much. They believe that, for a lot of men out there, it is a case of assuming that their partner doesn’t want it, and so they won’t bother trying to get the fun started themselves and leave it all down to the woman.

The study shows that a number of men are actually underestimating how often their partner wants sex. They believe that their partners might simply be giving in to them those rare occasions they do make a move, and so they back off.

However, they might instead decide that the decision for sex is left entirely down to the woman.

Views on sex

Traditionally, women are said to be not as horny or keen on having sex as men. As a woman, I can tell you this is a lie. Women want sex just as much as men do, so leaving the initiation all down to us is a big problem.

Why? Because we will eventually get fed up of it always being down to us. If you can’t be bothered to let us know that you want sex, then we might not be bothered to do it either.

You know that fear that you have in your head, telling you that your partner doesn’t want sex? Women feel it too, and by not initiating, you are telling them that you have no interest in sex or that you will just go along with it when the offer is there.

Better ways to initiate sex

For a lot of guys, trying to initiate sex in the bedroom is a case of rubbing your hard cock against her ass when you give her a cuddle in bed. You might think that this is all you need to do, but it is frustrating. We want you to get creative.

The best way to do it? Kiss us. Hard. A long, passionate kiss will get us turned on and show that you are willing to take your time on foreplay. It is also a great way to initiate sex and let them know what you are in the mood for out of the bedroom.

A massage also works well. You can start slowly, working your way all over their body and giving them long, lingering touches. They will get turned on as you slowly stroke their bodies and leave them wanting more. Because they are (usually) naked during the massage, you can get straight into the fun!

Are we initiating sex enough?

Honestly? I don’t think we are initiating sex enough. We get lazy, especially if we are in a long term relationship, and that means sex can go downhill.

If you have found that this is happening to you, you should try to spice things up a bit. Not sure where to start? A sex toy can help, like a cock ring. Our very own Anna Smith talks us through the reasons you should try a cock ring on the blog.

Are you good at getting sex going, or do you need to spice things up? We want to hear from you, so use the comment box below to share your thoughts.

Lara Mills
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Lara Mills

Lara Mills is a writer who has four years of sex industry expertise behind her. Since she entered the adult industry, she has worked on the Escort Advertising forums, before moving into her current role three years ago.

Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.

In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
Lara Mills
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