Sex is part of all people’s life, isn’t it? However, not everybody is turned on by the same things. But there are things most people consider hot so they are “normal”. At the same time, there are other aspects that seem weird because not everybody fancies them. Well, you know what they say, different strokes for different folks! Welcome to the world of the fetish.
Should you feel bad for liking something none of your friends seem to be enjoying? How do you know they aren’t into even freakier activities?
Usually, people don’t talk about their kinks because they’re all afraid of being judged. What I am trying to say is that while you are keeping your own fetish a secret, people around you are hiding theirs!
So, instead of feeling odd for being different, how about dealing with your fetish in a …normal manner?
What Is a Fetish?
So, you only have an orgasm when you are playing with your lady’s feet. Well, that’s one of the many existing fetishes. In fact, there are so many people into this kind of play that it become quite common. Being into domination or sniffing women’s underwear are also far from being extraordinary behaviors nowadays.
Of course, there still are fetishes so rare that didn’t pass the abnormality line. However, if you are into less usual things, don’t panic. There are other people who share your interests, and if you want to find them, you just have to search for them online.
But how exactly is a fetish defined? It’s actually pretty easy: a fetish is a severe desire involving a body part, like feet, an object such as women panties or an activity just like BDSM in your sexual routine in order to reach climax. If you are able to reach climax without them, but you just fancy sucking on a beautiful toe, you don’t have a fetish. That’s a kink!
Also, many people have fetishes that are desirable only as a fantasy. For instance, many people are into uniform fetishes. There are men who like having sex with women dressed as schoolgirls. But this doesn’t mean they would actually have sex with girls who go to school.
At the same time, there are women who can’t have an orgasm unless they are playing the rape game. Well, just because they fantasise about this and they like their partner to grab their hair and “make” them have sex, it doesn’t mean they would want it to happen in reality!
Now, many of you might wonder what kind of people have fetishes and why this happens. Unfortunately, no sexual behavior expert can answer this question with certainty.
Everybody Seems “Normal” Until You Get to Know Them!
There is not a single explanation to answer our questions about all those who have fetishes. However, we know that there are people who can connect their sexual behaviours to something that happened in their early childhood, before they knew anything about their sexuality.
At the same time, other gained their fetishes from being sexually abused or just seeing sexual behaviours in their early years.
As you can see, not everybody has the same background so we all have our fetishes from a different aspect of our lives. But are people with a fetish…ill? This is another question that doesn’t have a simple answer.
As you’ve seen in the definition given before, a fetish is not a disorder but if it reaches a level that causes suffering, it might become more than “just a fetish”. In this case, seeing a doctor is advisable. Otherwise, there is nothing you have to worry about. As I said, you are not the only one who can’t have an orgasm without a good, old-fashioned spanking!
How to Deal With A Fetish
If you don’t have a fetish, don’t judge people who do. In case a friend confides in you and begins talking about his fetish, don’t be flippant. Respect him and his differences. He is the same person he used to be before confessing what makes him climax. Anyway, even if you don’t have a fetish, you will definitely have a kink! Would you like to be judged for being into a bit of bondage from time to time?
If you do have a fetish, keep in mind that “weird” is a relative term and so is “normal”. For example, I might find your fetish weird, but at the same time I’m into leather. Talking about your fetish might be difficult even with your closest friends.
If you don’t want to talk about it, don’t! However, some of your friends are either into the same things or into other kinds of sexual activities! Just don’t think about it too much! You don’t sleep with them, anyway!
When it comes to people you sleep with, things are different. Talking to your partner about it is recommended. You should both experience climax and if your partner doesn’t know what makes you have an orgasm, your relationship might end badly.
So, discuss with your partner about what you like and want to do in bed. Ideally, you will get positive feedback. If you don’t, just relax, there are tons of people who share your interests. And if you want to find somebody immediately, an escort is what you need. Just make sure you are on the same page before you arrange your date!
In conclusion, relax! So what if you have a fetish? Isn’t it enough that you can’t have an orgasm without a certain thing? Do you really want to worry about being weird? You are not even that odd, since there is somebody out there who is into much more kinky stuff!
So, if you have a fetish, don’t let it make you feel bad about who you are! Being different than your friends is not such a bad thing and, as I told you, there are many people who live with the same feelings. If you want, you can even join our forum since there is a high chance to find many people who are into the same sexual stuff as you are!
She is most well known for her sex advice pieces, yet also has a major interest in sexual health and other serious issues. However, this is all done with a quirky style that is unmistakably hers.
When she isn't working, Anna is a fitness fanatic, and enjoys going away with her partner for various weekend trips.