While homophobia still exists, as a society we are starting to overcome it. We are working together to try and ensure everyone feels welcome, and that they can be themselves… but bisexuals still feel as though they have no place.
They are cut off from the straight communities, and also the LGBT communities… all because people do not understand them. Just as the stigma surrounding the sex industry damages it, the stigma and perceptions about bisexuality are also causing problems.
I take a look at just what these assumptions are, and what being bisexual means.
One of the most common things that you hear is that there is “no such thing as a bisexual, they’re just greedy”. People think that they simply want to sleep with everyone and be promiscuous, without being labelled as sluts.
However, the people who have this assumption still call them sluts. After all, they are calling them greedy. What else could that suggest if not that they simply want to have sex with lots of people?
There is also the belief that, if bisexuals are promiscuous when it comes to sex, they will have many STIs and STDs because safe sex simply isn’t important to them. Even if being bisexual did mean that you are promiscuous (which it doesn’t), that simply makes safe sex all the more important as you won’t want to risk your own health just for a quick shag.
An old friend of mine is bisexual. For a long time, people said to her that bisexuality didn’t exist, and that she was simply unsure if she was straight or a lesbian.
There is a problem with this “logic”. Straight means having an attraction to people of the opposite gender to you. For example, I am straight and fancy men. The idea of licking a woman’s pussy is a turn off for me. Gay means that you are attracted to people of the same gender.
Bisexuals like both genders. It isn’t that they simply can’t make up their minds about who they like. They simply find some men and some women attractive.
You will notice that I said bisexuals “simply find some men and some women attractive”. The word “some” is very important to this next part.
There is the assumption that being bisexual means you suddenly fancy everyone, and it is a belief that hounds the gay and lesbian community to. For some reason, if you are anything other than straight you are thought to immediately fancy anything that moves or has a pulse.
Obviously, we know that isn’t the case. Gay, lesbian, and bisexual people are just as picky about who they date as we are. Everyone, regardless of sexuality, has their own turn ons and turn offs when it comes to potential partners.
The following is one I heard recently. My old friend has a boyfriend. They have been together for many years now. On a recent night out, I was left stunned by what I heard someone say to her.
They said “you aren’t bisexual anymore because you’re in a relationship”. There is this idea that when you are in a relationship you stop finding other people attractive and sexy.
This is absolutely not the case. When you are in a relationship, you can still find other people attractive. Hell, you can even still think naughty things about them while whacking one off. The difference is that you might not act on these feelings. The same goes for bisexuals. They still find both men and women sexy. They are just in a dedicated relationship and have respect for their partner, and so won’t act on it.
What is bisexuality?
Bisexuality is described as being “a sexual attraction to both men and women”. It isn’t simply “greed”, that they are “promiscuous”, or that they are “confused” and “uncertain”. They know who they are, and that they fancy both women and men.
The problem is the way people react to bisexuals. They don’t understand what it means, and so make up wild theories to suit what they think, instead of actually educating themselves on it. It is the same with the sex industry. People believe that escorts don’t want to do this work and have no other choice, but we all know that isn’t true.
How do you handle assumptions about your sexuality or your work? Do you correct them when challenged? Do you face these wrong and hurtful beliefs often? Let us know in the comment box below, or visit the Escort Norway forum and share your thoughts there.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.