Bad Sex Described in Three Words!

We all like saying that sex is like pizza and even when it’s not the best, it’s still pretty good. But who are we kidding? Bad sex exists and I don’t know anybody who was lucky enough not to experience a really ugly sexual experience.

Blue Twitter Bird

There are many reasons why promising sex can turn into a night to forget. For instance, personally, I hate one night stands. I don’t like being close to somebody who I am not comfortable with. I’d rather pay a sexy escort than go on a date and then, go back home with somebody.

Well, luckily I don’t need to do this, but I still have many single friends who tell me their bad experiences. Recently one of my closest friends told me that she went out with a guy she met online and she found herself counting down the moments until the sexy time ended.

Honestly, the more you experience bad sex, the less you want to get dirty. However, there are many funny things that make the night awful sexually speaking, but hilarious overall.

So, even though bad sex can have repercussions on your behavior, you can’t let mistakes make you an introvert, can you? So, instead of suffering and regretting your awful sexy encounters, how about having a laugh?

This is what more than 50,000 people did. They described their bad sex rendezvous, on Twitter, under the hashtag #BadSexin3Words which seems to have started from Comedy Central account @Midnight.

Assuming not everybody uses Twitter, I chose some of my favourite descriptions of people’s bad sex experiences. Here they are:

Farts upon Climax

@ComedyCentral described sex in a very funny manner, especially since it’s not something uncommon. Well, if you ever had a partner who farted upon climax this tweet will make you giggle.

In case this never happened to you, just don’t laugh out loud when it will, unless you have a really close relationship with the person you are having sex with. Otherwise, you risk making them feel very uncomfortable. And it definitely could be you farting…

Right Hole…Right???

@FunnyBaldChris tweeted “Right hole…Right?” Well, this is impossible to happen, but men will always try, won’t they? If it does happen, it might not be so funny for the person under…so laugh while you can!

Is It In?

@andrewzimmern seems to be making fun of men all over the world since this is their worst nightmare. At the same time, the question can be asked by a dude, making the lady wonder: “Am I too big or is he too small?” You’ll never know until you measure it!

Wife Walks In

‏@MrTommyCampbell knows what he is saying, not because he has been caught but because there is no bigger nightmare for married men than their wives walking in when they are cheating. Can you think of something that will make them feel worse than the angry and disappointed eyes of their wives?

I am quite worried about the fact that this Tweet actually made me smile even though I know it can end up pretty nasty.

I Am Groot

@Wieneraaron has my kind of humor. Of course, Groot cannot be in your bed but this line is pretty funny. Now, if you are on a Tinder date or you are with a sexy escort, this humor might not be appreciated and instead of having fun, “I am Groot” can make things very awkward!

Sleepy Whiskey Dick

There is no way to end this list than with my personal choice of a bad sex description. My #BadSexin3Words is Sleepy Whiskey Dick because you drink, have fun and get really horny and thanks to the delicious alcohol, nothing sexy happens… unless you consider snoring sexy.

This is why my dear friends, never drink too much when you are on a date or you plan to meet one of the hot escorts in Oslo. You might not act stupid or violent when drunk, but your penis can fall asleep exactly when you need it the most. So, drink wisely!

Can You Describe Bad Sex in Three Words?

Now, you’ve seen some of the people’s bad sex descriptions and you’ve read my choice. This means that it’s time for you to share your #BadSexin3Words commentary. If you don’t have a Twitter account, just write it in the box below! Don’t be shy, describe your bad sex experience in three words!

Anna Smith

Anna Smith

Anna Smith entered the adult industry in 2015. From that moment on, she has become one of the foremost writers around, using her sex industry expertise to bring her readers many fun and fact filled articles.

She is most well known for her sex advice pieces, yet also has a major interest in sexual health and other serious issues. However, this is all done with a quirky style that is unmistakably hers.

When she isn't working, Anna is a fitness fanatic, and enjoys going away with her partner for various weekend trips.
Anna Smith

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