Yes, you did read that correctly. There are some new condoms out there that are based on various fruits and vegetables, with the intention of making them fit your penis perfectly. You might be wondering what a turnip has to do with your cock, but it could soon be the reason you have better sex.
Want to know more? Here on Escort Norway we take a look at what a carrot and a cucumber has to do with your dick, and just where condoms come into it.
Condoms are pretty good at getting the job done. For a start they are the only thing that can prevent STIs and STDs during sex, and they also make you feel a lot happier when you are fucking away safe in the knowledge that you aren’t going to have any other unexpected surprises in the future.
However, condoms aren’t 100% effective, and there are some out there who actually have worse luck with them, simply because they have been using them in the wrong way. Having the wrong size condom, and even putting it on incorrectly or not swapping for a fresh one when you need to can lead to the condom tearing… which is a great way to kill the mood.
The problem is that there are so many different types of condoms, with ones ribbed and dotted “for her pleasure” and others with a special lube inside to help the man last longer in bed. These can get pretty expensive, which means we might settle for ones that don’t fit. That leads to breaking and other unpleasant things that we definitely don’t want when we are happily lost in the moment.
In fact, a recent study found that condoms fall off during sex around 5% of the time, while a further 20% of those surveyed said that the condoms don’t work properly… and this is also because of sizing issues.
What does veg have to do with it?
Okay, so you might be going “this is all very fascinating, Lara, but what does a banana and a zucchini have to do with my cock?” or you might just be wondering where this is going next, but one man decided that we needed condoms better suited to the cock they were going on. It is all well and good having ones that are long enough for your cock, but if you have a wider girth this can often cause more problems than it solves.
Guan-Hao Pan decided that it was time to start creating condoms for the many different cocks in the world, and he came up with five different types. The weird thing is, they have been modelled on different fruits and vegetables.
You can buy them for the cucumbers among you, the carrots, the bananas, the turnips, and the zucchinis, and the packets are designed so that you can see at a glance which one fits your member the best.
Each pack contains 12 condoms, and each condom will be wide and long enough for the food on the packet. If you have a penis with a slight curve you might want to opt for the banana, as this will best suit your needs.
Strange but true
There are some out there saying that this will lead to men whipping their clothes off in the fruit and veg aisle of Kiwi so that they can compare their manhood, which we really hope they don’t. That sort of thing is best done in private.
However, that isn’t all that people are saying. They believe that men might still go for the wrong size in order to appear more impressive. After all, do you really want to be the guy picking up the cucumber packet when she has just grabbed the zucchini for you?
That said, there are also some more unusual things about these condoms, other than the packaging, that might just make them your new favourites to use. The condoms are all individually wrapped in a small plastic circle (designed to look like the vegetable they are based on, but chopped up) with a foil lid, making it so much easier to open than the traditional foil packs.
If that wasn’t enough of a reason, the tip is already clearly raised for you, meaning you can grab it instantly and get it on. In fact, the website brags that “the speed of wearing Love Guide Condoms is faster than conventional packaging condoms more than doubled”. This tells us that the actually timed men against the clock to get them on. Sounds a little weird, but it means you could be fucking away in no time at all.
Never look at fruit in the same way again
You can see why the idea has been popular. Not only are the condoms a little more friendly to your cock, in that they fit better and are so much easier to put on, but you can see at a glance which ones might be better for your body.
And yet we are still a little dubious. The firm are hoping to soon have vending machines, where you can buy the packs of condoms, but the idea of walking into your local supermarket and picking up the carrot to take to the checkout is a bit embarrassing.
We don’t think we will ever be able to look at fruit and vegetables in the same way again. I might have to skip my salad for lunch and go for something non-phallic instead…
But what do you think about this? Are the Love Guide Condoms a great idea to help improve your sex life, or is it asking a little too much of people? You can let us know what you think by joining in the discussion on the Escort Norway forum, or by leaving a comment in the box below.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.