When it comes to oral a lot of people simply assume they know what they are doing. What they have done has worked in the past, so why would they change it? They will simply do the same things over and over again in the hope that it continues to work. The issue with this is that there might be a few oral problems they didn’t notice.
If there are oral problems it can be very difficult for a woman to cum simply with your tongue on her clit. Eating her out might be your favourite thing to do, but unless you address these oral problems, it might not work as well as you were hoping.
1. Not wet enough
This is one of the most common oral problems that people face. They will assume that, because you are going to be using your tongue, you won’t need any additional lubrication. The problem is that then your partner isn’t wet enough to really enjoy it.
As they say, wetter is better. So you need to make sure you get her really turned on before you go down on her. A lot of people decide that oral is basically foreplay, but if you want to get her off using only your tongue you are going to have to get her warmed up first.
The wetter and more turn on she is the better it will be for her. Each sensation will be more intense and pleasurable. The whole point is to pleasure her, right?
You could even add some lube if you want to get down to business. Go for something that it odourless so the smell doesn’t put you off and you’ll find that she is having a lot more fun with the additional aid.
2. Going too hard too fast
So, she’s nice and wet. You’ve got your head between her legs and have started lapping your tongue away and her clit. She’s squirming a little beneath you and is clearly enjoying it. This is the part where a lot of men decide that they are going to act as though they have been starved of pussy for years and basically devour her.
We get it. You love eating pussy. The problem here is that going too fast and too hard can actually be a huge turn off. We want things to progress naturally, and if you do things too soon it can seem as though you are rushing us to cum.
When a woman feels the pressure to reach orgasm, it makes it harder to relax. We need to reach the point where we can just let go, and if you are constantly saying “cum for me”, we aren’t going to get there.
Instead you should take your time and stop stressing about the end goal. If you find that you are speeding up because your tongue is aching, you need to learn to relax. Keep your tongue flat instead of pointed and you’ll notice a huge difference. You can also then bury your head deeper into her cunt and really rub her clit. You’ll find it much easier to tease her all the way to orgasm by just relaxing.
3. Not giving up control
Take a moment to think about the typical position you will get into when it comes to giving a woman head. You’ll probably get her to lie back on the bed and spread her legs, right? Well, while this might be a good position, it isn’t the bed for oral.
A good alternative is to put a pillow under her back. This will help to keep it relaxed and angle her pussy perfectly for you to kiss. However, one of the best positions for oral is with your partner straddling your face.
Yes, this can be an intimidating position, but it will be perfect for her. It gives her more control, and while you can still rub your tongue along her clit, she can pull away if it gets a little too intense.
The problem is that people don’t want to give up control. Trust us, if you can manage to it will feel so much better for both of you. She knows just where to put you so that she can cum and you can enjoy the fact that your hands and arms are free to tease her however you want!
4. Unwilling to take feedback
One thing that people are really bad at doing in bed is talking. Communication is one of the key things you need to have to make sex amazing, but not enough people are willing to start a conversation. They feel like having sex is fine, but talking about it is too dirty.
Over the years you will have honed your oral skills to make her cum… or so you might think. What works for one woman will not work for all. Yet we get so fixated on what we think works that we forget to ask our partner.
If she tells you to keep going, she wants you to keep going. This doesn’t mean change the direction your tongue is moving or go faster. It means keep things exactly as they are.
By making yourself more open to taking feedback, you’ll find that your love life is so much better. You can talk about what works and doesn’t work. She might even let you in on a secret to making her squirm that you never thought of before. Surely it is worth taking the risk?
Other oral problems
These are just four of the most common oral problems that we have encountered in the bedroom. There might be others that we haven’t mentioned, so we want to hear from you.
Let us know about the biggest mistakes you have made in bed by leaving a comment in the box below. You can also tell us how you feel about oral by voting in the poll below.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.